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The Men We Need

The Men We Need

I’ve never read a book about “manhood”. I do enjoy “The Art of Manliness” podcasts and blogs. I’ve read numerous biographies about influential men from history. But, when it comes to most of the books about “manhood”, I don’t particularly care for them. It’s just that they all seemed the same…”hunt something down, pound your chest and yell loudly, and then run others off who aren’t part of your tribe.”…and, that, honestly, never resonated with me. I was raised by very caring, present, and hospitable men. The version of “manhood” in those other books just doesn’t seem to express humility, nor is it hospitable.

I never read a book about “manhood” until I listened to the Typology Podcast interviewing Brant Hansen. Then I immediately devoured his book “The Men We Need – God’s Purpose for the Manly Man, the Avid Indoorsman, or Any Man Willing to Show Up.” Brant’s way of defining manhood captured my attention, my prayers for my sons as they grow up, and what I pray the Church can model for our neighbors.

Jorjanne and I have discussed and prayed about how to raise wise, humble men in our culture that obsessed with baiting guys to the edge and then shaming them after the fact. And, we guys deserve all of the ridicule. We allowed and created the messes in our lives. Jorjanne and I know there has to be a better way. And, I believe that what Brant offers in his book might be part of that better way…

Brant draws from the Creation story in Genesis to define manhood by three verbs: Guard. Protect. Watch Over. Masculinity is ultimately about taking responsibility. Just as Adam was charged to do in the Garden of Eden, we men are now also called to be Keepers of the Garden. Whatever your post in life, take great care of it and those in it. We are fully alive and fulfilling our calling when we take great care of our “garden”.

Brant challenges us guys to make 6 decisions that will set us apart:

  1. Forsake the Fake and Relish the Real
  2. Protect the Vulnerable
  3. Be Ambitious About the Right Things
  4. Make Women and Children Feel Safe, Not Threatened
  5. Choose Today Who You Will Become Tomorrow
  6. Take Responsibility for Your Own Spiritual Life

If you are a guy, read this book. If you are a lady, you can also read the book. Better yet, though, buy a copy for the guy in your life for him to read. Since I’ve never read another one, this is the best book about manhood I’ve ever read! Seriously, though, I can say that this book is life-changing, and has the potential to be culture-changing. I found it so impactful that I bought a copy each for my two older sons to read this summer.

Check it out…you’ll be glad you did.

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Our Better Angels and 7 Virtues of Leadership

I’m in the middle of the book Our Better Angels right now by Jonathan Reckford, who is the CEO of Habitat for Humanity; and, I can’t stop thinking about its potential impact on our community, state, and world. I first heard of Jonathan and his book on the Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast where he and Andy discussed 7 Virtues that Jonathan and Habitat for Humanity have adopted and embodied.

These Virtues are:

  1. Kindness
  2. Community
  3. Empowerment
  4. Joy
  5. Respect
  6. Generosity
  7. Service

I had the opportunty to help build 3 Habitat homes in college with my fraternity brothers. I’m not sure when Habitat adopted these virtues. But, as I read this book and think back on those experiences of helping aspiring homeowners build their own homes, I get excited. As a County Commissioner in Irwin County, I get excited thinking about what we all can also accomplish and become if we choose to come together in kindness, care for each other in community, empower each other to become all that God intends for us, choose and live out joy even when it’s tough, respect each other fully, generously give, and serve with humility from the top down.

Check out the podcast and book. If you ever have the chance to serve with Habitat, DO IT! If you ever have the chance to go overseas and serve, TAKE IT! You’ll be glad you did.

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The Power of the Other

I recently read one of the most encouraging, powerful, and yet, self-evident, books. The Power of the Other by Dr. Henry Cloud is the great reminder that our culture has, yet again, misguided us. Especially here in the United States, we value independence. We celebrate people who appear to succeed on their own. We aren’t, however, told the entire story.
What you know instinctively, though, is that your best and worst seasons in life weren’t entirely about the market or your skills. Your best and worst seasons were also about who was with you. For better or worse, your friends and family were playing a large part in the results of those seasons and whom you were becoming. I know that my greatest accomplishments and challenges overcome have been, and will be, in close relationship with others.
In his book, Dr. Cloud identifies four approaches, or corners, to connection. In order for you to truly succeed in life, we need to intentionally avoid the first three corners and seek out the fourth corner. His four corners are:
  1. Disconnected, No Connection – I see this corner often in men who say, “I can pull myself up by my bootstraps. I’ve got this!” Or, you might be new to a town or job. Instead of seeking true connection, you maintain your independence, further isolating yourself.
  2. The Bad Connection – Because we are all made for connection, you might find yourself connected to a person who makes you feel inferior, guilty, or something is wrong with you.
  3. The Pseudo-Good Connection – Where Corner Two connections leave you feeling bad, Corner Three connections make you feel good. That can’t be a bad thing, can it? You just might find yourself surrounded by people who only tell you what you want to hear. Remember The Emperor’s New Clothes?
  4. True Connection – This is the corner where you want the best for others, and others want the best for you. As Dr. Cloud puts it, Corner Four connections, much like a Navy SEAL parachuting into hostile territory, ask themselves and seek the answers to three questions:
    1. Where am I?
    2. Where is the enemy?
    3. Where is my buddy?

You can recognize these Corners in just about every aspect of life. And, I believe we will do ourselves and our loved ones well to seek out and cultivate true connection with a handful of people…people who will help us arrive at a better destination.

Question: How has a healthy relationship helped you achieve greatness or overcome a challenge?
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How to Know What the Next Move Should Be

I just realized that my last blog post was almost 8 months ago! Oh my goodness…where has the time gone?!?! Since I last posted anything here, life has been a blur. For starters, I was elected as Irwin County’s newest County Commissioner. My business has continued to grow, and we recently brought on four new team members. As time continues to fly by faster, my business becomes more complex, and I am asked to make decisions that impact many people, I made a serious investment late last year in my leadership. I hired a coach.

What kind of coach, you ask, did I hire? I hired an executive coach. This person has so many experiences from the business teams she’s led. And, today she works with a large leadership and small business consulting company. Needless to say, she is highly qualified. I’ve worked with tennis coaches before, but I’ve never worked with such a personal type of coach. Much like a tennis coach, my executive coach starts with the fundamentals of my game. The only difference being that my executive coach’s first assignment was reading about and then writing my values and vision instead of hitting ground strokes. My executive coach’s goal is to help me lead my business towards the vision and preferred future she has helped me craft. In the midst of uncertain times, she has helped me chart a course and clearly communicate it with my team. But, the beautiful part of working with my coach is that she has helped me gain perspective and ideas for bringing clarity to my situations.

In his book, Boundaries for Leaders: Results, Relationships, and Being Ridiculously in Charge, Dr. Henry Cloud makes the argument that leaders, much like any other closed system in the universe, are doomed for disorder without an external input of energy. In fact, leaders need energy and guidance in order to maintain order within themselves. Energy keeps us going, and guidance points us in the right direction. You can find this energy and direction from trusted friends, mentors, and books. I have a couple of close friends who help me navigate personal and business decisions. And, my executive coach is now also providing energy and guidance as I navigate complex business decisions.

My coach is a serious investment. But, the energy and guidance I gain in leading my team far outweigh the costs. If you’ve ever wondered what the next move should be, I highly recommend you work with a coach. You’ll be glad you did.

And, here is a great resource and another super helpful resource.

Question: What is the best quality of your favorite sports coach?

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Managing by the Numbers

I recently discovered a new way to help lead my company. I wish I had discovered this technique 10 years ago when we started my company, but I thought everything was just intuitive back then. In fact, I probably would have dismissed it as too simple since it involves only basic math I learned in middle school. But, this new technique is helping me see and solve very complex opportunities. It is simply, Managing by the Numbers.

I dismissed accounting (sorry Mr. Pat!) for a long time because I didn’t understand it. How can something based on basic math provide powerful insights? Money comes in, money goes out. What I failed to realize, though, is that while I am on the ground floor spending and receiving money, there is a forest’s worth of activity going on around me. And, I can’t see any trends by spending my time in the forest. By understanding how to use Balance Sheets, Profit and Loss Statements, and Cash Flow Statements, I can zoom out and see the entire forest for the trees in my company. I can use this basic math to understand my company’s trends and opportunities.

In his book, Managing By The Numbers: Understanding and Using Your Company’s Financials, Chuck Kremer, Ron Rizzuto, John Case tell the story of a fictitious office supply company and demonstrate the power of these three statements. The owners purchase the company from previous owners, operate through a couple of years and then start reading their financials. As they learn to use these reports, they recognize trends. They also recognize their greatest opportunities and their greatest weaknesses.

Now that I have a better appreciation for accounting, I am putting this knowledge to work as I lead my company. I have already spotted a few of our largest opportunities and risks. I have also started recognizing how to better motivate my team. I can’t help but wonder what the small business community would look like if each owner had a better understanding of his or her financials. What would our local governments look like if they knew how to use their financial statements? Heck, what would our state and federal governments look like if they also used them? I can’t help but imagine that we would all understand what is profitable and what needs improvement; we would all have money in the bank; we would really plan for the future. Managing By the Numbers is a great way to learn and start using our own financial information. If you own a small business or farm, or if you lead any organization that spends money, pick up a copy of this book now. You, your employees, owners, and constituents will be glad you did. I know I am.

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Why Most Business Owners are not Entrepreneurs and What I’m Doing About It

The following is a repost from my previous blog…enjoy!
Have you ever discovered something that changed the way you approach each and every day? I recently discovered a book, and I want to share my discovery with you in hopes that it can help you as much as this book is helping me and my company.

The book is The E-Myth Revisited. Written in 1995, Michael Gerber outlines a way of operating a small business that sets you up for success today and success for your business long after you are gone…and you will be gone one day. The book starts with the idea that most businesses are the result of an “Entrepreunerial Seizure.” The owner is usually a great Technician…a great accountant, chef, mechanic, farmer, etc. During the course of his seizure, the Technician decides to start his own business. “Instead of cooking food for someone else, why don’t I open my own restuarant?” And so, the business begins.

What he doesn’t realize, however, is that two other personalities must also come to life in order for this new venture to succeed. A Manager who is responsible for payroll, paying bills, and ordering next week’s ingredients. And, the Entrepreuner who is responsible for charting the business’s future course. We each have different personalities, but most founders are Technicians – NOT Entrepreuners.

My greatest take away from this book, though, is the idea that “the true product of a business is the business itself.” By applying this concept, I begin working ON my business, not just IN my business. I create systems for every aspect of the business as if I were going to create 1,000 businesses just like the one I arrive at every day by using a Business Development Process of Innovation, Quantification, and Orchestration. If you wold like to learn more about the book, here is a detailed summary.

So, what does all this mean for Muscadine Products Corporation?

To begin building on our mission of Delivering Health and Hope, I need to create our organizational chart, create job descriptions for each position in the chart, and then create written procedures for every process to ensure that all responsibilities are quantified and orchestrated as we have designed. Within this one sentence lies countless hours of work. But, I know that they are hours invested working ON my business, not just IN my business. In the end, though, we will have a strong company that can operate without me and succeed for generations to come.

If you lead a team, run a small business, or farm please pick up a copy of this classic book.

One quick question: Are you more of a Technician, Manager, or Entrepreuner? I’m definitely a Technician.

I’d love to hear from you.